moonriddler -:- 31 Black Pearls

And it's called a heart

Sensory Overload Original Fiction Ficathon
9 July – 12 August, 2005

Sight: dim
Sound: loud
Smell: aftershave/perfume
Touch: slick
Taste: appetizing

Author: Mim
Original, 31 Black Pearls © Marie Mim Efverstedt, 2003
Rated: NC-17
A/N: Even though these two don't practice safe sex, I hope you do!
This is a fic pre-set to the canon fiction that can be found on my site www.moonriddler.com

* * *

Ruben took another slow sip of his wine and hardly felt the taste of it as he let it linger on his tongue. He was nervous, he admitted, and not a small bit either. This was not exactly the outcome he had aimed for when he had finally gathered enough courage to confront Martin a few days ago. And Father Mo had said it would be easy. Ruben snorted and then swallowed the wine.

Nothing about Martin was easy. Ruben, if anyone, knew that. He really should have seen this coming a mile away, but Martin could be cunning too, when he put his mind to it. Ruben had learned a lot these past three years since becoming Martin's mentor, and lately also comrade in arms. So to speak. Technically the kid wasn't allowed to go into full battle yet, but he had come with Ruben on a whole bunch of reconnaissance missions. Ruben was proud of the kid; he showed great talent for sniffing out even the most well-hidden prey.

Usually it was Ruben who went to pick Martin up from the church dorms, but this time he was the one waiting. And it felt like he had been waiting for ages already. He glanced at the clock and saw that it still wasn't very late. With a sigh he drained the last from his glass and put it away, at this rate he'd be drunk when Mar finally got there and that wouldn't make any of this any easier.

"Easy my ass!" he muttered and spared an annoyed thought for Mo. The Father had been quite understanding when Ruben had come to ask advice about his little problem. The problem of a certain boy's virginity and his very persistent want to get rid of it. As if it was a flaw. Ruben smiled ruefully and shook his head. Martin could get the strangest ideas sometimes. But he knew that too by now.

Ruben had told Mo about the kid's new demand on his mentor and at first Mo had just smiled, shaking his head very much in the same way Ruben was now. But then he had gotten serious and told Ruben more than he'd ever wanted to know.

"This is a good development," Mo said. "I had more or less counted on it."

"What?" Ruben stared at the man like he had grown a second head. "I'm afraid you have to explain yourself."

Mo nodded. "Yes, I guess you're a bit shaken up by all this. It's not every day you're asked by a seventeen year old boy to take his virginity, is it?"

"Eighteen," Ruben corrected automatically. Well, Martin would be eighteen in a week's time anyway. "And damn straight I'm shaken up, especially when you say this is good!"

"You have to understand, Martin has been fascinated by you since the day you first met, Ruben. He was young and impressionable then, and still is, and he's been aiming for this all along, I suspect."

"But it's not right! I'm too old for him! He should find someone of his own age, like Jason or even Peter, if he must have a man."

"You're only thirty-two, not old by any standards. And the age difference apparently doesn't matter to Martin. He will only benefit from it, I believe." Mo gave him a shrewd look that made Ruben grimace and squirm uncomfortably. He wasn't an innocent exactly, and it seemed both Mo and Martin knew this.

Ruben scratched his neck and sighed. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?"

Mo clasped his shoulder with a strong hand. "No, I'm afraid not. But as I said, this is good. That Martin chose you tells not only of his feelings for you but also of his loyalty to you and the church. And we must keep the young ones in line, or lose them. I'm glad he chose one of our own for this. It is important and will tie him even closer to us. And you know we need him."

Ruben nodded. They sure did, the older hunters were too few to hold up the scores much longer, a few years at the most, and new blood and new hunters like Martin and his peers were just what they needed. But Ruben still couldn't get over what he had to do.

Martin wasn't ugly or anything, on the contrary he was very nice to look at; tall for his age, slender with young, wiry muscles growing firmer every day. And his eyes, a piercing blue that seemed to notice even the smallest details. The kid had made Ruben very proud during the years. Was this his reward for a job well done?

He shook himself. That was a disgusting thought.

And still he couldn't quite let it go. He saw Martin a day later, picked him up after a history class and drove them out to the shooting rage for some target practice. Martin didn't say anything the entire trip out there and Ruben suspected the kid was still mad at him for refusing as harshly as he had when he had first been asked.

Ruben hesitated to bring it up again. Perhaps Martin would forget about it if he let it be, kids could be fickle after all. He should have known better. Ruben had shot twelve rounds, every one going slightly shy of bull's eye, when he felt a presence behind him in the booth. He spun around and came face to face with Martin, who was looking at him with a frown on his face. He stood leaning his shoulder against the wall, his right hand resting on the butt of the gun holstered to his hip. The tight, black sleeveless top he was wearing made the blue of his eyes and the deep gold of his hair stand out all the more.

"What? Out of bullets already?" Ruben asked lightly. Oh, he knew Martin still had shots left, he'd only heard five bangs from the next booth, and at random intervals. The kid was still angry.

"You know, I thought you were the kind of man to stand up for your own," was the first thing Martin said to him all day.

"What's that's supposed to mean?" Ruben shot back, not a little offended. "You're a fucking kid, what do you know?" Oh, this was going well! Ruben wanted to kick himself.

Martin shrugged. "I don't know, maybe going to Mo wasn't the first thing I'd have done. He's been up my ass about it all day."

Ruben stared. Mo had told on him? Fucking backstabber! Martin was watching him closely and he straightened his back to look down at the kid from all of his impressive height of 6'3". "Then I guess you got an earful of all his saintly advice," he said with not a little anger in his voice.

Martin snorted. "As if. The old man hasn't been in church all day."

That did it. The manipulative little bastard. Ruben scowled at the kid and was just about to grab a fistful of his shirt and tell him in no uncertain terms just what he thought of liars and tricksters, when he was caught so completely off guard he couldn't tell if he had his head up or down.

Martin lunged in and wrapped his wiry, strong arms around Ruben's neck and then proceeded to kiss him breathless. Not a very skilled kiss, Ruben noticed distractedly, but the passion more than well made up for it.

And then his brain started functioning again when the wall creaked under their combined weight as Martin leaned into him, and Ruben realized he had to stop this. He actually had to struggle to unwind the arms clinging to him; Martin had always been a very good close quarter combatant, but this was ridiculous. They were both panting when he finally succeeded in disentangling the kid from himself, Martin a bit more so, but Ruben acknowledged he wasn't completely unaffected either.

"Fuck, kid. What are you doing?!"

"I'm not a kid!" Martin replied heatedly. "It's time you stopped treating me like one!"

And then he stalked off and left Ruben standing there like a big fool. He stared for a good while at the empty space Martin had left behind, thoughts and desire flooding his brain. Then he shook himself and cleared his throat and returned to reality. He holstered his gun, picking up the unused bullets and popping them back in the box. They should just as well get out of there; he didn't think practice would do any good anymore.

* * *

They had one more discussion about the whole issue, a long and, on Martin's part, very heated conversation. Martin was according to the law still too young to have intercourse, no matter how much he argued otherwise and how much he said he wanted it, and his arguments had been good. Ruben had struggled to keep his cool with the kid, but it had been difficult.

They had not been friends when they each went to their beds that night. Ruben thought that was it as far as his mentorship was concerned and realized he'd miss having the kid as his pupil. It had been a few good years. He didn't sleep much that night.

* * *

And then a fellow hunter was killed and their whole world turned on its side. Martin came into the room where Ruben sat one afternoon, drinking and reminiscing about the fallen hunter with a few friends, and he saw the need in the kid's eyes. They went up to the bell tower in silence, spent an hour up there in silence and Ruben later on walked Martin to the dorm in silence. That was all it took; being near the kid. Even if it was in silence, it brought home just how much and how deeply he felt for Martin.

"Okay," he said, nearly in a whisper. "If you want it so bloody much."

Martin stopped with his hand on the handle to the dorm rooms and looked at him suspiciously. "You say that now, but what about when we finally get to it? You gonna run then?"

Ruben shook his head. "No, kid. I'm not going to run. I'm too much of a man for that."

Martin gave him one of those sideways looks with a little smile tugging at his lips. "I'll tie you down if you do."

Ruben was startled into a smile. "I bet you would too." Then he grew serious. "This is not a game, Martin. I won't be fooled into this just on a whim of yours."

Martin looked down at his boots, chastised or not, Ruben couldn't tell. "I know. I still want it. You." He looked up and his eyes were a bit wider, his cheeks a bit flushed. "I won't let you down, Ruben."

Ruben shook his head and clasped a hand behind the kid's neck to pull him into a hug. "I know you won't."

"Why?" Martin asked from where he stood with his head tucked under Ruben's chin.

Ruben chuckled. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, kid."

But Martin wouldn't be deterred. "Is it because that hunter was killed?"

Ruben hesitated for a moment, said out loud like that it sounded so stupid. "In part," he said eventually. He took Martin by the shoulders and pushed him away a bit to look him in the eye. "I don't think any less of you for standing up to me like you have, Martin. But your stubbornness isn't the only reason I'm agreeing to this and you should know that. For men like us, we don't have the luxury to hesitate or wait, Damien's death is proof of that."

"You knew him?"

"Yes," was all he said. Good friends were to be mourned but not wept over forever; they had had a day and a night of drinking in memory of their friend. That was it; they didn't have time for more.

"So you want me for me, then?" Martin was giving him that sideways look again.

"Yes, damnit. You're a handful, but I'll bring you to heel," he said with a crooked smile. And then he was suddenly pushed up against the wall, one of Martin's wiry thighs shoved between his legs.

Oh, sweet lord, but Martin's throaty moan made a shiver run down Ruben's spine straight to his groin, and he opened his mouth a bit wider to let the young man's agile tongue find his. His back hit the door and it creaked indignantly under their combined weight, and Ruben thought he should slow it down before they did something indecent in the hallway. Well, more than they already had anyway.

"Wait, Mar. Not here. Hey, stop." He pushed the kid away when it seemed Martin wouldn't stop kissing and his lips detached from Ruben's neck with a wet pop. "You little leech," Ruben muttered and rubbed the spot. "If you've given me a hickey I'll spank your ass."

Martin licked his lips, looking up at him from under his lashes. "And I'll let you," he murmured.

Fuck, but he was turned on by that and he couldn't blame it all on the booze either.

Ruben cleared his throat and had to fist his hand not to reach down and adjust himself. "I think I need a moment to get my wits together. If that's how you kiss I don't know I'll survive the rest," he muttered.

Martin laughed at that statement.

* * *

Even though Ruben knew without a doubt that Martin gladly would have followed him home that night, he'd told the kid he needed a day or so to compose himself. It hadn't been an easy decision no matter how much he loved the young man; he was still a bit bothered by the age difference and the fact that he'd seen Martin grow up. Only Morris being like a father to them all stopped Ruben feeling like a father himself.

Now, two days later and here he was. Sipping wine and staring out the window of his small, scruffy apartment. He'd changed the sheets on his futon twice, once from used to clean ones, and once more because he wanted Martin to feel silk against his skin.

Sweet God, he was really going through with this. He contemplated another glass of wine, but thought better of it. Martin would kill him if he couldn't get it up. And then there was a knock on the door and Ruben jumped and almost knocked his elbow against the window frame.

Muttering under his breath he went to the door to let the kid in; he knew it'd be Martin waiting outside, who else could it possibly be at this hour? And it was. Dressed in his usual worn black leather jacket, but tonight he had chosen leather pants too instead of his usual jeans. Ruben swallowed and stepped aside to let him enter.

"What brings you here on such a fine evening?" he quipped, hoping to get his brain in order along with his suddenly rampant libido. Why had he never noticed just what kind of passionate, almost sexually primal air that surrounded Martin? And the way he moved? Damn, he thought exasperated as he closed the door.

Martin stopped in the middle of the small apartment, looking around him at the bottle of wine and two glasses on the small table by the window, the futon in the corner with the one lamp lit. Then he turned and Ruben saw the answer bright in his blue eyes. Martin started taking off his jacket and Ruben kicked himself forward.

"Here, let me take that," he said and felt almost embarrassed as he saw the very formfitting, almost revealingly tight black sleeveless top he wore under it. Ruben hurried to hang the jacket up by the door. Martin was kicking his boots off when he got back and Ruben walked over to the table to pour wine for both of them. He certainly needed it.

"Thanks," Martin said with a brief glance at Ruben's face and then sipped his wine.

There was a moment of awkward silence, neither of them perhaps knowing what to say or do next, and Ruben for one felt at a loss as for what to do. He'd never had a lover so young before, certainly not a virgin, and all his previous sexual encounters had been with men and women who definitely knew what they wanted and how. It had seldom been dates, more often meetings with one aim in mind and they'd all walked away content from it afterwards. Ruben wondered what Mo would say now about his supposed prowess as a lover.

In the end it was Martin who saved them both, he and his youthful lust, Ruben guessed. Up to that moment before Martin started to slowly, teasingly undress, Ruben had had no sense of desire, his cock as limp from sheer nervousness and uncertainty as ever a limb could be. But Martin knew what he wanted.

Ruben put his glass down on the table and just watched as the young body was being revealed to him, Martin giving him glimpses of the lightly tanned skin on his stomach, then the small of his back as he turned and peeled the top over his head. In the dim light from a streetlamp and the lamp by the bed, Ruben could see all the unblemished skin of the young man, the flex and bunch of muscle as he turned slightly, giving Ruben a look over a shoulder, before he reached down to the belt in his pants.

That's when Ruben suddenly remembered he was supposed to participate in this too. He stepped forward and Martin's chin came up, almost defiantly as if he expected Ruben to stop him. But he only put his own hands over the kid's, brushing them away and taking over the task of undressing him. Martin's eyelids lowered slightly, his lips parting and the tip of his tongue flicking out for a brief appearance.

Ruben kept looking at Martin's face, searching for any sign that he was uneasy or uncomfortable, but none were to be read. If anything, his eyes darkened and a slight blush rose on his cheeks. Ruben smiled and popped the button on his pants.

Martin didn't stand idle for long though, and soon Ruben had trouble deciding if he should let go of the narrow waist and hips to be helped out of his own shirt; the teasing fingers on the strip of his chest bared between the open halves were rather distracting. Martin smiled at his predicament.

"You find that funny, eh?" Ruben growled at the kid, and then dipped his head to suck and lick and nibble on his neck and shoulder. Martin gasped and dug his fingers into Ruben's skin.

Enough playing. Ruben tore himself away for a moment and stripped off his shirt, absently noting one button popping and skidding in under the bureau over against the wall. Martin wasn't slow to follow his example and soon they were both naked down to the skin.

"Hmmm," Ruben hummed, his eyes taking in the flat abdomen and beautiful, long thighs of his young lover. And his cock, rosy at the tip and very eager. "Ah, youth," he murmured with not a little appreciation.

Martin seemed slightly embarrassed at the close looks, but he didn't turn or look away. He stared back instead, giving Ruben the same scrutiny, and it turned Ruben on something fierce. He'd never been seen this way before; Martin noticed the pink line of a new scar, the slightly uneven contour of a badly broken shinbone. He stepped closer and caressed Ruben's chest with both hands, following the swell of muscles from pectoral to abs to hips. Then he stepped even closer and Ruben couldn't help but groan as their groins came together.

"I want you, Ruben," Martin murmured, not letting go of his hips or stopping with the delicious rubbing he'd started. Ruben grasped his shoulders and pushed him away.

"Then you have to stop that, or this won't last very long." His voice sounded not a little bit hoarse, he noticed. So did the kid's. He smiled with satisfaction. "Manipulative little shit," Ruben murmured fondly. Martin smiled.

Ruben steered them over to the futon, making sure Martin didn't trip on the edge as he lowered the young man down onto the sheets. Martin gasped a little at the cool smoothness of the silk and then looked up at Ruben hovering over him on hands and knees.

"Silk?" he asked and there was a teasing note in his voice.

"I felt like spoiling you," Ruben replied.

Martin laughed and reached out for him. Ruben gladly lowered down, but was careful not to lie completely on the kid, afraid he'd squish him with his weight. There was something to be said about 6'3" of wiry, solid muscle, but it could be a bit troublesome when you wanted to bed someone a bit smaller than yourself.

They kissed, Martin letting Ruben set the pace from the beginning as if he realized it would be better that way, and Ruben did his damnedest to prove his worth. He used every trick in the book, sliding his tongue into Martin's mouth to map out every little bit of it, playing with his tongue and sucking on his lip. He let his hands roam over every bit of skin he could reach but avoided the young man's cock for now. But every time he came even close to touching Martin whined and circled his hips against Ruben's thigh. Sweet God, if he continued doing that Ruben wouldn't be able to hold on for very long.

It was as if Martin realized this, he doubled his efforts when Ruben yet again failed to touch where he wanted it the most. He grabbed Ruben's ass and more or less dragged him on top, spreading his legs so Ruben could nestle between them. He whined when their groins rubbed together, and then he started rolling his hips. Oh, delicious friction. Ruben growled in his throat and reached down to still the movement that was about to undo him.

"You," he panted, staring down at the young man under him, "are most insistent."

Martin nodded, his lips parted and his breath short. "I want you," he whispered. "Please, Ruben."

He hesitated. He could still steer this away from full out intercourse. He could but Martin would probably kill him. Castrate and then kill him. There were more pleasurable options to that. Martin smiled when Ruben shifted to reach for the bottle of lube he'd hidden under the mattress, and Ruben couldn't help feeling a tingle of satisfaction. The kid really wanted this so who was he to say he couldn't? But he better stop dallying or his balls would explode whether he wanted it or not.

Martin was panting, his hands constantly moving up and down Ruben's back in maddening caresses. Ruben had to bite his lip to be able to concentrate on getting the top off the bottle and squeeze a line out on his fingers. But when he reached down to prepare his young lover he was thoroughly surprised.

"What?" Martin asked, an innocent expression on his face.

Ruben held his fingertip against the small bud, caught in staring at the other. "You're already slick," he breathed. Martin nodded and licked his lips, a wicked gleam in his eyes. Ruben shuddered and leaned down until their noses almost touched. "You have no idea how that turns me on, Mar."

"I think I might," he replied and rubbed his erection against the heavy, stiff heat that lay on his stomach.

Ruben pushed a finger in anyway, decisively and fast without being rough. Martin gasped and his neck arched. Ruben took the opportunity to lean down and fasten his lips to the smooth column. He sucked as his finger twisted around, idly searching for that spot, and soon he had raised a dark bruise on Martin's skin. Satisfied he added another finger even though it wasn't needed. It seemed Martin had done a thorough job of stretching himself but Ruben wanted to make absolutely sure. And he enjoyed it too, watching his lover squirm at the feel of his fingers doing naughty, pleasurable things with his body. And they hadn't even gotten to the really good part yet.

Martin's thighs soon started trembling and he was moaning out loud. "Oh, yes!" he cried out when Ruben touched his prostate. His fingernails dug into Ruben's shoulders and then he was coming. Thick, white ropes of come spurted up between their bodies and Ruben groaned when he felt the warm stickiness on his skin.

"I'm sorry," Martin was saying, or rather tried to, he was panting too hard for it to be more than gusting exhalations. "I didn't mean to…"

Ruben silenced him with a kiss. "It's alright, Mar. I'll hold up until you've caught your breath." He smiled reassuringly and Martin smiled back, his lashes lowering lazily.

Ruben couldn't hold up with the touching though, his desire adamant that he sate it. While Martin recovered Ruben let his hands roam, feeling out every plane and stretch of muscle, tracing circles around the defined squares in his young lover's abdomen. Martin was smiling sleepily, his eyes tracking with interest every tour Ruben's fingers took.

Ruben noticed this and decided to take advantage. He started kissing his way down Martin's chest, detouring briefly to each appetizingly salty nipple and watching them pebble under his attention. But his goal was the sticky mess of fluid and he soon got his first taste. He hovered on all four over Martin, his face only centimeters from his skin. Martin's eyes were wide, expectant. Ruben slowly leaned closer, holding that gaze, and when he flicked his tongue out Martin drew a breath that he didn't exhale until all the white was gone.

"Mmmm," Ruben hummed deep in his throat and lay back down over Martin, covering the young man's body with his own. He rolled the last lingering flavor of salt and bitterness around on his tongue before he leaned down for a kiss. Martin gasped at the taste of himself in Ruben's mouth and Ruben was pleased, and not a little excited, to feel the stirrings of lust rekindled in Martin's body. The benefit of a young lover was, no doubt, that they could go again after only a short rest. But it was debatable whether or not stamina during one long bout of sex was to strive for. Well, he could teach Martin patience.

Martin was soon hard again, his cock jutting Ruben in the stomach each time they rocked together, and that if nothing else was what finally had him rearing back on his knees and hooking one long leg under a knee. He took pause when Martin gasped and looked down at him. But his eyes were shining and his lips parted and kiss-roughened. He wanted this, of that there was no doubt.

"Are you ready, Mar?" Ruben asked as he aligned himself. Martin nodded eagerly and tilted his hips up. The tip of Ruben's throbbing cock rubbed over his opening and Martin gasped again.

"Ruben," he groaned.

Ruben shuddered at the sound and shifted the other leg up on his other shoulder. And then he looked down. The bud his cock wanted to burrow into was so small; tiny, pink and glistening from his earlier attentions. God, he should turn back now. Shouldn't he? Martin moaned under him, impatient to get on with it no doubt. Ruben risked a glance at his flushed face and his eyes were met by burning, darkened blue.

He couldn't hold back. With a long groan he rubbed the head of his cock a bit more firmly over the little hole, teasing them both mercilessly. Martin shuddered and his fingers shifted to grab Ruben's hips. And then he pushed harder, insistent, slow. The head of his cock popped inside and Martin whimpered again. Then his insides clamped down and they both tensed from the pain. So tight. Ruben squeezed his eyes together for a moment to ride out the worst.

"Look at me, Mar," he murmured when he had composed himself. Slowly, reluctantly he was obeyed. "Does it hurt?" he reached out and caressed a sweat-damp temple.

"Not so much," Martin said, his voice breathy and faint.

Ruben knew that to be a lie. It had hurt like hell his first time and he wanted Martin's to be better than that. So he waited. He shifted the long legs to wrap around his waist and leaned down to kiss him, letting his own tongue coax Martin's into a dance when it seemed his lover was focusing too much on the pain to be able to relax. He moved one hand down Martin's body and closed his fingers around the now half-limp cock. Martin twitched, groaned, grimaced slightly before he realized Ruben was watching his every reaction.

"I'm okay," he tried to convince Ruben.

"I'll let you know when," Ruben said, decisively, not convinced in the least. He set about taking Martin's mind off what his body was telling him, stroking and rubbing and kissing and licking. It was working and soon he could start pushing forward again. Slower than slow, a bit back and forth to loosen the muscles and let his lover adjust. Martin's cock was hardening again, filling with blood and heat.

"That's it, Mar," Ruben whispered. "Feel how good it is."

Martin moaned and threw his head back.

Even if he had wanted to hold off a little longer, savor the first feelings of Martin's body around him, his own was soon clamoring for him to see to its needs. He started rocking forward, small rolling motions that made his lover gasp and moan and let out little whimpering breaths. He hadn't thought Martin to be so vocal and it soon had him teetering on the edge of his control.

"Oh, oh, oh," Martin breathed with every plunge. "That's so good!" His fingers were flexing with every motion. Ruben smiled and angled himself more carefully, and Martin cried out, his back arching. Ruben winced at the feel of sharp nails digging into his shoulders.

Panting, a bead of sweat rolling down his flushed cheek and his hair sticking to his skin. Martin was beautiful. And sexy. And now Ruben couldn't for the life of him understand why he had resisted this for so long, and for what reasons.

"Oh, please. Ruben!"

He knew what Martin was asking for. "Alright, love," he murmured, leaning down a bit more, Martin's rock hard cock pressed between their bodies, their faces scant centimeters apart. Martin's breath gusted over Ruben's skin with each increasingly forceful thrust. Martin's hips came up every time to meet his and soon they were both close to coming.

Ruben felt his balls draw up tight to his body and he quickly reached down to curl his fingers around Martin's cock, not wanting to leave him behind. Only to find Martin already jerking himself off. Sweet God, when had he started doing that? And that was the last hazy thought Ruben had before he came.

From somewhere away he heard Martin gasp, and then the heat around his cock tightened impossibly and warm wetness spurted between them. He forced his eyes open to watch his lover coming, the last small dribbles being slowly milked out by a trembling hand.

"God, Mar," Ruben said. Or rather tried to, he realized he was a bit hoarse. Had he screamed?

"Unnnh," was all he got for an answer.

He pulled out slowly, not relishing leaving the comfortable, accommodating body he'd just made his. Sweet God. He wrapped his arms around Martin and pulled him as close as they could possibly get, burrowed his nose against Martin's sweat-damp neck and breathed in the mingled scents of what they had just done; heady, musky, salty. Mmmm, warm, solid, tender, sated. Afterglow. Definitely afterglow.

"Sore…" he caught Martin muttering and he raised his head to look properly at him.

"Is it bad?" Yeah, as if feeling guilty now would do any good!

Martin seemed to consider this for a long moment, or maybe he was just feeling a bit languid the way Ruben did after really good sex. "It's not so bad," Martin said finally. "And I asked for it, didn't I?"

Was that a sly expression? Ruben looked more closely. Yes, sly if he'd ever seen one before. "You sure did, kid." He grinned and leaned in for a deep kiss.

* * *

Ruben came slowly awake. It was still dark outside but through the gap in the curtains he thought he noticed a slight brightening along the horizon, dusting the windows of the highest buildings in red and violet, and giving the room a dim glow. Dawn soon. He sighed and turned his head to nuzzle the messy, dark blond head resting on his shoulder. Warm and soft, heavy and real and there.

Martin pulled a breath and stirred. Sleepy, hazy eyes opened and searched for Ruben's face. He smiled and Martin smiled back. "You okay, kid?"

"Mmm," was the eloquent answer. He didn't even object to the nickname. Martin turned his head and Ruben started at a slick touch of tongue to his neck. He chuckled and tugged at the tousled long bangs.

Martin looked up at him, his eyes suddenly not so sleepy any more. "I want to be with you, Ruben. I want to be with you forever."

He blinked, taken aback by this very serious proclamation. Automatically he almost said no. He almost told Martin they couldn't commit themselves to each other like that. There was no forever for them.

But he couldn't do that to Martin. Disrespect his feelings in such a manner, not after what he'd been given so freely. Yes, he wanted to be with his new lover until the end of time, but in their profession they couldn't afford to get too attached, to form bonds that would be more a liability than a blessing should anything happen to any of them.

So he tried to explain this instead. "I want to be with you too, Mar," he murmured as he slowly caressed his fingers down Martin's chest, skirting around a nipple and down to circle the bellybutton. "Do you know what we have that no one can ever take away from us?" he asked as his fingers slowly walked back up. He looked at his own hand, not daring to meet the blue gaze he felt so intensely on his face.

"What?" Mar wondered after a moment. "You mean this, tonight?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Partly, at least." How could he explain something he hardly knew how to put into words? But he must make Martin understand. If they would ever be separated he knew that could be the only thing to keep the kid going.

"We have more than just our bodies. Even when we share them, they are just physical means for a physical union." He saw the bewilderment on Martin's face. Frowning he tried to find other words. "There are… there are other ways to be together. Ways that even time can't take away from us." His fingers were sliding up Martin's neck, over a cheek to his forehead.

"Memories," Martin whispered, his eyelids fluttering. "Yes, I will always remember."

Ruben nodded, still not meeting Martin's eyes. He let his fingers move back down again, past a shoulder, along a collarbone, to hold up steadily over Martin's heart. He felt it leap under his palm, the skin suddenly scorching hot. "There is nothing stronger to man than this. It aches and flips and pounds in our bodies. Makes us weep and laugh and yearn. I've felt it all tonight, with you, Mar. There is nothing stronger than this. You have mine now."

Martin was staring at him when he finally dared look up and meet his eyes. He seemed confused, but somewhere deep inside his wide, puzzled eyes Ruben knew he had understood. It was his hope that it was enough for Martin should the day come when they couldn't be together. It was his hope he would not have to find out. And if he ever did, that he wasn't the one left behind.

Martin reached up and tangled his fingers in Ruben's hair, pulling him down to kiss. He whimpered against Ruben's lips and willingly, greedily, almost desperately opened his mouth to Ruben's tongue. Ruben savored each taste; each thrill through his body like it was the last.

Ruben's hand was still resting over Martin's heart, he felt each flip it did, each pounding against the ribs. He had it now, he realized. He was the one man in possession of this precious gift. How could he not honor it?

He would. As long as he drew breath.

* * *

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