Chapter 14
The farewells to Will's family were a bit awkward. Mother Vina and father Ion were sad to see their son leave again so soon and Nila clung to his arm right up until the moment when they stepped out the door.
Aunt Elyn was nowhere to be seen but that was perhaps just as well, she hadn't been too happy with Will last night and she would undoubtedly have spewed more jealous words that would only upset them all. Kell was happy to leave, although he felt sorry for those who had to stay behind and deal with it all.
Ina snuck quietly out in the yard to watch Kell and Will leave from the shadows by the carpentry, and Will slowed in his pace, almost as if he was about to turn back. Kell reached out a hand and touched his arm; the brown eyes that turned to him were full of pain.
The two day ride back to main camp was a lot less joyful than it had been going in the other direction. Although Kell disliked uncomfortable, long silences he let Will decide when he wanted to talk because he knew the sorcerer needed this time to come to terms with what had happened.
They stayed the first night at the same roadside inn and the matron was delighted to see Kell and his purse again. Kell flirted a bit with her this time as well but now his concerns were others than they had been then. He made sure they got a room with two beds to give Will the privacy if he wanted it. Which made Kell all the more surprised when he woke in the middle of the night by his mattress dipping and a warm body slipping in under his blanket.
Will pressed up against Kell, a hand reaching out to twine fingers in his hair and pulling him down for a kiss. Then Will sighed and buried his face against Kell's shoulder to go back to sleep.
As frustrating as it was to have Will so close and not be allowed to do anything more than to hold him, it was still much more pleasant than having to sleep alone. But Kell knew that was all Will needed right now; comfort and warmth.
* * * * * * * *
In a way it was a relief to come back to main camp. It was like stepping into another world that was far away from all that was gnawing on Will about his family, and yet at certain moments he wished nothing else than to be allowed to go back home and sort it all out. He found himself at a crossroad and he had problems choosing which way to turn. It made him quiet and withdrawn and the only help he got from Ashiná was murmured encouragements that whatever he chose it would be the right path.
Will knew the prince didn't like seeing him like this and perhaps that was the reason he kept away for two whole days after their return. And Will didn't seek him out either, reluctant to bother the prince with his problems.
Piotry and Aron were both on leave that week and Thomy and Sernan were often out during the days. Will had no one to talk to and for some reason he was glad, this was a much too personal subject to share.
With nearly a third of the soldiers on leave and the rest of them on a rotating schedule for routine patrols between main camp and the five outposts, the camp were often very quiet. Will could stay at his tent for meditation, though he put up wards to warn him of anybody approaching.
It was during one such session that the prince decided to seek Will out and he walked oblivious to any ward into the sorcerers' camp. Will swiftly pulled his consciousness back to the surface and awareness, but slowed the settling as he saw who it was that had disturbed him. The prince was pacing back and forth between the tents, an angry frown on his beautiful face and a sheet of paper clutched in his had.
"My prince." Will said quietly and the man grunted something incomprehensible in response. Will sighed quietly and pushed a hand through his hair to get his bangs out of his eyes for a moment. Kell continued pacing.
"We're moving more than half of the camp back to Adeban," the prince said quietly after a while, there was a harsh edge to his voice. "Apparently father has had talks with king Uriche for the past month and now they've agreed to settle this peacefully." His hand clenched around the paper.
"Isn't that good?" Will asked carefully.
Kell snorted and slowed to a stop, he stared down at his fist holding the paper, which was the letter with the command from the king. "Peace is what we have been fighting for all this time, but I don't trust Uriche to let this all be over with so easily. He's fought too hard and too long to stop now. I'll be damned if this isn't just a trick of his to lull us into false security and then he will attack again when we least expect it."
Will studied the prince's rigid posture and frustrated expression; his braid looked like it had been done in a hurry. "Have you told your father you feel this way?"
Kell let out a short, sharp laugh. "I got his command for retreat only the day we came back. With all that has to be planned and put in order for the march back to Adeban I haven't had the time to send him a letter, and even if I had the letter would arrive two weeks from now at the earliest and father wants us out of here within the end of this week." He spun to Will. "That's four more days, Will, and the last of my men on leave won't return for another week after that." Frustrated he slashed out with a hand towards camp.
"I'm sure your father has given this proper consideration. He knows this camp is too large to move that swiftly and he'll be glad as long as you do the best you can. He probably just wants to let Uriche see he has every intention of making this peace treaty work."
"I suppose so. But still, I don't like it." Kell sank down on one of the mats by the, at the moment, unlit fire. He seemed to realize he had crumpled up the letter in his hand and now he absently tried to smoothen it out against his thigh, a frown on his face.
Will sighed and rubbed at his eyes, he was tired.
"You don't look so good," Kell said and Will looked up to meet concerned blue eyes.
"I'm fine, just a bit tired. I haven't been sleeping that well." He smiled faintly to calm the prince.
"You're still worrying about your family."
"How can I not? They're the only family I have."
Kell met his eyes for a moment longer and then looked down at his hands. What he said next was so quiet Will had to strain his ears to hear it. "You have me…" His fingers fiddled with a corner of the letter.
Will felt his heart burst, those small words were the best comfort he could've ever had and they warmed him to the core of his being. "I'm glad," was all he could manage, his throat had suddenly gone tight.
Kell looked up again. "You don't have to stay out here on your own, Will. There's plenty of room in my tent."
Will smiled. "And what will your men say when they find out I've moved in with you?"
"I don't care, it's my tent, and they don't have to be there. But I could use the company." There was hope in the prince's voice.
Will considered it for a moment. "Me too. But you'll be busy; I'll only be in your way."
"No, you won't. You don't have to be there all the time, just… I…" Kell shook his head. "I need someone who I can talk to without having to hear ‘my prince' in every other sentence."
Will arched an eyebrow. "You mean I'm not polite enough for you to tire of me that quickly, my prince?" Will couldn't help himself.
"No. Yes, I don't know…" It took Kell a moment to understand Will was teasing him and then a crooked smile crossed his lips. "You know what I mean."
"I guess I do. I've missed you, Kell."
Kell blinked. "I haven't been anywhere. You could've come to see me anytime you liked."
"Could I? I know how you dislike too much silence; you wouldn't have endured it for more than an hour."
The prince frowned. "Yes, I would."
Will only smiled indulgently and got to his feet. "I'll come by your tent later, my prince. If we're moving to Adeban I should at least pack my things properly." He stopped suddenly and looked at the prince who sat with a slight pout to his lips. "I suppose you want me to come with you to Adeban?" he asked slowly.
"Of course." Kell rose with a graceful movement. "I don't think any of you sorcerers will have to stay here. If Uriche is true to his word and the treaty none of his patrols will cross the river and there won't be anymore fighting. Our outposts will remain as well as a small force here, but the rest of us will have to stay in the city until I hear anything else from my father."
"So I'll get to see Adeban and the keep there then? I've heard it's quite an impressive building. Five hundred years old, is it?"
The keep in Adeban was still in use by the king's army and it could more than well house this large force. It had been one of the first strongholds ever built in the kingdom and was the guard of the north. Will had heard many stories of the keep and the men that had held it during the ages.
"The keep?" the prince said with an arched eyebrow. "Sure, you can go there, but I expect you to stay with me at the manor."
Will hesitated. "Are you certain? I mean, I'm still a sorcerer in the king's army even when we get to Adeban, aren't I supposed to stay with the rest of the men?"
Kell stepped closer. "Not if I have anything to say about it." He gave Will a look through lowered lashes that made something stir restlessly inside him.
Will knew the prince only meant well when inviting him to his manor, and it would be nice to spend more time with him without having to worry about what you said or did in case someone might see. Yet rumors were bound to happen sooner or later as people began to realize just how much time they spent together in private.
It didn't bother Will as much since he was a sorcerer and rumors were already circling about sorcerers and their strangeness compared to normal people, and in particular their choice of lovers. But he didn't want anything hurtful to be said about the prince who would one day be king. So he decided to stay in the keep with his fellows anyway, though he knew he was bound to at least the occasional visit at Kell's manor.
Kell was sitting by his table writing when Will quietly entered his tent later that afternoon.
"Have a seat, sorcerer," he said and gestured with the quill pen around the tent. "I'm done in a minute."
Will looked around at the piles of paper on the other chair and the stacks of maps on the large chest; the only available space to sit without disturbing papers that probably were put in some sort of order was the bed. Will glanced at it and decided to remain standing.
Eventually Kell put away the pen and looked over the document he had written once more before he folded it neatly and sealed it with his personal seal. Will realized he hadn't seen it before and leaned over Kell's shoulder to take a look. What he saw made him lose his breath and the world narrowed down to that one red glob of wax so fast he had to put a hand on the back of Kell's chair to steady himself.
"Something wrong?" The prince had turned his head to look up at Will. "You look a bit pale."
Will straightened his back and pulled himself together with an effort. "No, I'm fine." But his voice trembled. He gave the sealed paper a careful glance. "Is that your personal seal, my prince?"
"Yes. Why?" Kell looked puzzled at him.
"It's a tiger's paw…" Will's voice trailed off.
"Yes. My father gifted it to me on my fifteenth birthday." He put away the pen and ink and got out of the chair to call for Janu out the tent flap.
~Yes, Will. It is true.~
~The tiger's paw, Ashiná.~
~It cannot be much clearer than that, can it?~
~I can't tell him this, Ashiná. I can't do that to him. He's to become king.~ Will had a lump the size of a fist in his throat.
~You don't have to do anything; he's already doing it himself. You just have to accept and receive what he gives you. That way all will be well.~
Will bit his teeth together and shut his eyes, thinking how cruel the world was.
"…and then you can bring supper, Janu. The sorcerer will be dining with me tonight," Kell was saying to his manservant who nodded and left.
Will looked at the prince; the dark blue tunic over wide shoulders, a belt around his slim waist, black breeches and boots that he seemed to favor if the scuffmarks on the toes were anything to judge by. He raised his gaze to take in the beautiful face and the eyes, the golden braid spilling forward over a shoulder when the prince bent to pick up the pile of papers from the other chair.
"I apologize for the mess, Will," he said and the voice was mellow and soft. "There's just so much to do, many papers that need looking over and signing. There's a lot that needs to be arranged at the keep as well as here before we can go." He added the papers to another pile and gestured to the chair for Will to sit. "You're awfully quiet. Something I can do?"
"No. Not right now, my prince." Will carefully kept his eyes turned down as he took the offered seat.
"Fine. Let me know when, though." Kell sat down opposite Will and rubbed the muscles in his neck. "I decided to write that letter to my father," he said. "Even if it arrives too late he should still know how I feel about all this, like you said. After all, I am commanding one of the largest armies in the kingdom."
Will nodded. He could feel the prince's gaze on him, piercing into him, searching for what was wrong even as the prince spoke of other things. He wanted to tell him but couldn't find the words.
"You said earlier that king Uriche had been fighting too long to give up now," Will said to redirect the prince's thoughts. "How long has this been going on?"
Kell's eyes narrowed suspiciously, he knew what Will was doing but let it pass for now. He sighed and rubbed thoughtfully at his jaw, leaning the elbow against the armrest of the chair. "It's been little over a year now. At first it was only smaller skirmishes along the border, hardly any men killed, and father thought it to be the perfect opportunity to send me out here to learn to handle a command.
"The force wasn't that large then and Rión thought of me as a spoiled brat, but he soon had to change his mind on that account." Kell smiled at a memory.
"What happened?" Will urged him on, anything not to have to think about the prince's seal and the fateful future it predicted.
"I got so furious with his attitude one day that I challenged him."
"You what?" Will stared baffled. High commander Rión was one of the most respected and most daunting men Will had ever met. He couldn't quite picture Kell, several pounds lighter and years younger by far than Rión, challenging the man.
Kell let out a small laugh. "I swear, I would never do today what I did then. I'm much wiser now and I was just lucky Rión handled it as honorably as he did. And that it inspired respect among my men and not ridicule."
"You actually dueled?"
"Yes, but as I said, I was lucky. Rión is really intimidating when he puts his mind to it, but I was too angry to really notice. We had been discussing tactics and Rión put down every one of my suggestions, and in front of the commanders too. I picked up my sword and ordered him outside. I swear, I've never seen anyone as baffled as him right then."
Will sat back to look at the prince; there was a small smile fluttering at the corners of his mouth, his elbows rested on the armrests of the chair and the fingertips of one of his hands lay lightly against a thigh.
"If Rión hadn't suffered from a sprained ankle and hadn't been wearing his heavy chain mail, he would've easily beaten me."
There was a short silence.
"But he didn't," Will murmured.
"No. Of course it had all been a test to see how far he could push me, but I didn't find that out until afterwards and by then Rión was mighty pleased with himself at having put the prince in his proper place. And I have the scar to remind me of how stupid I was to challenge him."
"Oh? And where might that scar be?" Will wondered, more than a little curious all of a sudden.
Kell gave him a crooked smile. "Well, Rión said he'd teach me what a man should not be thinking with and came pretty close too. I'm forever grateful to my swords master." His fingertips drifted towards his groin.
"I think I get the idea." Will tried in vain to hide his smile and curious look. Kell met his eyes and held them.
The tent flap was pushed aside and the prince's manservant returned with their supper. If he noticed the rising mood he didn't show it. Supper was put out for them with graceful efficiency and then Kell told the man he could leave again. After a curt nod and a curious glance at Will, they were once again alone.
Will broke a piece of bread and dipped it in the sauce on his plate. "We're getting off the subject…" he began to say.
"Oh? I thought we were doing just fine," Kell murmured and gave Will a look under lowered lashes.
Will cleared his throat. "No, we were talking about Uriche. So, the war began a year ago. Why?"
Kell's eyebrows drew in thought. "I don't know exactly why he tried to invade us; he had tried for months to push the border to the east side of the river by raiding our outposts that were on the west side then. But one day he deployed his entire army and attacked." Kell fell silent, staring unseeingly at the fork in his hand. "We lost many great men that day."
Will sat silent for a while, trying to lay out the timeline of these events in his head. "And now there's a stalemate and a peace treaty between the kings has suddenly been formulated. You hold the east side of the river still?"
"Yes, and the river is under my father's command as it always has been. Though I'd love to get the west shore back where it belongs as well." Kell frowned and speared a piece of meat with his fork.
"Do you remember what the highlanders said, my prince?"
Kell looked up at Will's words but didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue.
"They were invaded three years ago by Uriche's troops and driven from their homes. He was looking for gold and stones."
"Yes." Kell leaned an elbow on the table. "And the highlanders fled two years ago and settled at the Knee. Then one year later the war began with Uriche raiding the border."
Will nodded. "Suppose he found the treasure he was looking for and then he could send his army south again, in time to attack you."
Kell stared at Will. "The timing is right. But the question is why? As long as he kept to his side of the border we wouldn't have bothered him."
"I don't know why," Will admitted. "But it seems to me he was after the river. It was on your side of the border then and now it lies in-between."
"But still under my father's command. It's not likely he'll give it up, it's too important for our trade and merchant routes between the north and south."
"Exactly. Important and useful enough for Uriche to want it for himself. Mining gold and shipping it downriver from the highlands would do wonders for his economy."
"So you're saying he's invading my father's kingdom because of money?" Kell arched his eyebrows.
"When isn't it for the sake of money?" Will asked.
"That's not very clever of him. What he excavates in gold is easily absorbed by the costs to support the war." He shook his head slowly. "I knew he was greedy and hotheaded, but that is just plain mad."
"And you can't always understand a madman, can you, my prince?" Will gave him a small smile.
"No, not even dead drunk and standing on your head naked in the full moon," Kell murmured, his thoughts still more or less focused on Uriche and his possible motives.
Will blinked at the image the prince's words put in his head and then burst out in laughter.
They left the gloomy subject of the war then and spoke of more ordinary things. It was pleasant to spend a few hours with the prince, sipping sweet wine and enjoying the undivided attention of those deep, blue eyes that drifted over Will's body, making him very self-conscious and very warm.
There was a short silence when the prince stretched his back and took the leather string out of his hair to comb out the braid with long fingers. Will watched with rapt fascination as golden strands fell down over Kell's shoulders to frame his face. When Kell was satisfied he sat back and took a slow sip of his wine as he watched Will's reaction.
Will swallowed. "Why do you have to do that?" he asked a bit frustrated.
"Because I know you like it," Kell answered simply and a teasing smile passed his lips.
Will blushed and had to clear his throat before he could speak. "Perhaps I should go back," he decided.
"You don't have to go."
"Yes, I do. Before this gets out of hand." He emptied what was left of his wine and rose. Kell stood too with a languid motion and came closer. Will stood like frozen and stared into the blue eyes that neared his face.
"You have to spend the night with me sometime, Will. You can't elude me forever. There are only so many excuses you can make." He leaned closer.
"We have spent nights together, my prince," Will whispered. Gods, his heart was racing under the prince's hand.
"No, we haven't. We have shared the same bed, but that's not what I mean." His lips brushed over Will's and down to nibble at his chin as a hand moved up Will's back to hold him close.
Will tilted his head back to give that wonderful mouth ample room to kiss his neck above the collar of his grey coat. Gods, Will wanted this and would gladly say yes to Kell's persistent invitations, but he couldn't. Not here, not now. He shouldn't ever.
The tiger's paw on the prince's seal.
Will shuddered as Kell found a sensitive spot right below his ear. "Please, my prince. I can't." He gave the shoulders a push and the prince sighed and reluctantly let him go.
"Go then," he said quietly and turned away. "I still have a pile of papers to sort out."
Will wanted to say he was sorry, he wanted to reach out and hold Kell close, tell him all his heart's desires. But the clenched muscles in Kell's jaw and the tense set of his shoulder kept Will away.
He quietly left the tent.
* * * * * * * *
Kell stood outside his mostly empty tent and waited until Rión came up to him. "I'm sorry you had to cut your leave short, Rión." He shook the man's large hand.
"No need to apologize, my prince. It's my duty to be available to the king's army; I am high commander after all." He followed Kell towards the large tent that still stood up the hill. "So we break camp tomorrow, then."
"Yes, enough men have arrived already to move a large enough number. Still, some of the rest will have to join us in Adeban later."
"How many are we leaving here?"
"Not more than a thousand and only minimum crew at the outposts."
"What?" Rión's eyebrows lowered and he stared, incredulous. "That's hardly enough to hold the camp in case of an attack. Two thousand would be more like it and even that is too few for my liking."
"I know and I agree. But there's not much I can do when the king has ordered it."
Rión gave him a brief smile. "Not much anyone can do, my prince. I suppose the keep is waiting for us?"
"Yes, captain Heón went ahead two days ago with a small troop to clear out the barracks and stock the supplies."
"That should lift the merchants' moods."
"Yes, very much so since they live half the year off the money we pay them for the supplies." Kell rolled up a large map and put it in its oiled leather casing. "I have to ask you, Rión, and I want you to answer me honestly."
"Yes, my prince," came the somber answer.
"What do you think about this treaty with Uriche?" Kell didn't have to wait for the answer; Rión scowled.
"It's utter rubbish, if you pardon my language. Uriche won't give up that easily."
Kell nodded. "My thoughts exactly." He was relieved the high commander felt the same way even if it was disloyal to the king, and he conveyed the conversation he and Will had had last night.
Rión's eyebrows drew as he considered this. "Clever, this sorcerer of yours, my prince. Especially if this proves to be even half true." Rión gave him a little smile before he turned serious again. "So Uriche is sending his men to die out of greed? That doesn't make any sense to me."
"I know. I wonder what it is up in those mountains that could be valuable enough to die for. Gold and stones hardly seem enough of an incentive considering the cost of this war."
Rión shook his dark head. "I don't know and I don't like Uriche having the upper hand," he admitted. "And I certainly don't feel comfortable leaving the river unguarded in case this is all a trick."
Kell sighed. "I've already sent my father a letter saying just that, but even if I receive an answer it won't be soon enough."
Rión's eyes narrowed. "Forgive me for my forthrightness, my prince, but would you mind terribly if I stayed in camp a while longer? I want to make sure the force that stays is aware of what might be going on and I'd like to give the rangers a correction of order or two."
Kell smiled. "Not at all. The camp's all yours, commander."
Rión saluted and left the prince to pack up the few maps that were still on the table. Kell felt strange to pack everything. It felt strange to go outside in the afternoon sun and see the camp breaking up and vanishing. Kell had been living in this camp for over a year and in a way it had become his home. Strange what one got used to when one must.
He thought about his rooms back in the castle in Semban, the lavishness, the extravagances, every conceivable comfort a prince could ever want for, and servants to follow his every command at any hour of the day and night.
Kell shook his head. The manor in Adeban was simple in comparison to the royal castle, but he still preferred it. There he had enough to be comfortable without being overwhelmed. He wondered what Will would say about it.
And then he remembered the sorcerer's rejection yet again last night and his eyebrows drew. He knew Will wanted to be with him, he could tell easily enough, and still there was something holding him back. Was he shy? Yes, but not so much anymore, not like he used to be when they first met. Was it because Kell was a man? He frowned. No, Will had let him close enough a few times already, and touched and kissed in a very convincing way that gender was not an issue. Will's rejections for anything too intimate made Kell's own fears surface yet again after all this time, and he didn't want his and Will's relationship to be tainted by it. Will deserved so much better than that.
Kell sighed and pulled a hand through his hair, the sorcerer wasn't exactly easy to get along with all the time. He had left Kell with a very persistent ache last night that he had must easy all by himself. Not that he complained overly much; the images accompanying it had been pleasant enough. However, he was certain it couldn't compare to the reality.
He looked around in his tent. The only things left was his armor rack, the chest with his clothes and the bunk, the rest had already been loaded onto a wagon.
Kell couldn't find the calm to settle down for the evening just yet, the last one in camp. He left the tent again, motioning to the two guards hovering nearby that he would like some privacy. He steered towards the sorcerers' camp; he wanted to make sure they were ready to move out tomorrow.
The brothers Thomy and Sernan were there, packing away the last of their belongings, when Kell marched into the camp. He looked around and frowned when he realized their tent was the only one still standing.
"Will said he wouldn't need his tent. I guess he'll be meditating tonight," Thomy said at the questioning look the prince sent them, and closed his knapsack.
"He's been meditating a lot, hasn't he?" Kell was neither blind nor ignorant of Will's ways.
"Yes, my prince. At least one session every day since he came back from his leave."
Kell hadn't thought it to be this bad, but perhaps what had happened with Will's family had been harder on him than he let show. Either Will was good at hiding when he wanted to, or Kell really was that blind. He bit his teeth together and resolved to better himself.
"Do you know where I can find him?" Kell wasn't about to stand idly by while Will suffered.
The brothers gave each other a glance. "He usually goes to the brook, my prince," Sernan answered.
"Thank you." Kell didn't wait for a reply.
Will sat cross-legged with his head slumped forward and his hands on his knees. His breath came slow and deep, and it almost looked like he was asleep. Kell hesitated among the trees, he didn't even know what he was supposed to say, what Will needed to hear.
"Leave or come closer," Will hissed without looking up. "You're standing in a critical spot."
Kell started at the sudden words and took a few hasty steps forward.
Will raised his head and slowly opened his eyes to look at Kell. "You seem unable to leave me alone when I'm meditating."
No smile, no gentle words or greeting, no title. Kell frowned, displeased, he had come because he was concerned for Will's wellbeing and this was what he got? "Perhaps I am. Especially since you seem unable to let me near." He took a few more steps closers that forced Will to look up at him from where he sat. "You're planning on spending the night out here?" he demanded to know.
"Yes. You don't have to, my prince." Tersely said.
"I won't and neither will you. You're coming back to camp with me. Whatever it is that has you sitting out here all night I'll be damned if we don't work it through."
"No," Will said simply.
"No?" Kell's eyebrows rose. He had gone looking for Will to make sure he was alright and all he got for his trouble was an edgy rejection. Yet again!
He scowled and reached out for the sorcerer to pull him to his feet. He didn't get any other warning than Will's eyes narrowing before the ground under his feet started heaving. Kell let out a startled cry and was toppled to the ground. He landed sprawled gracelessly on his back and lay gasping for breath for a moment, long enough for Will to get on his hands and knees above Kell and stare down at him instead.
Gods, but Will's eyes were so dark.
Then the angry expression softened just a bit and Will sat back on his knees.
Kell lay stunned for a moment longer before he found his body intact and movable. He had never been on the receiving end of a sorcerer's attack before. He didn't like it.
"What are you trying to do, Will?" he hissed when he was sitting upright again. "That could put you in the gallows!" As if anyone would dare lay a hand on a sorcerer with that intent.
"And perhaps it should, because I can't stand the thought of hurting you!" Will snapped back.
Then he seemed to realize just what he had said and what he had done, and his eyes filled with tears.
Kell stared, unable to say anything; the anger running through him dissipated and left him empty. "What are you talking about, Will?" he whispered eventually. "You didn't hurt me, just scared me out of my wits." He reached out to touch Will and the sorcerer shied away. "Gods of mercy! What have I done this time?"
Kell remembered very clearly how upset Will had been before, the other arguments they'd had. The morning at the Knee and the disagreement about the treatment of the highlanders, where Kell had thought he had lost Will because of his temper. The evening in Diamban and Kell almost declaring high treason because Will wouldn't trust his affection for the sorcerer.
And now. But he couldn't understand what he had said or done now, and he needed to know so he could make it better.
"Please, Will, tell me. How else can I ask you to forgive me if I don't know what I've done to make you hurt so."
A tear spilled down Will's cheek and he fiercely wiped it away with the back of a hand. "I cannot tell you because I'm not allowed to and because you wouldn't understand."
"Then tell me what you can and help me understand." He had never seen Will cry before and it was breaking his heart.
Will slowly shook his head and then stopped. His eyes became a bit distant and he whispered, "No, I can't… But Sharican said…"
Kell realized he was talking to his guardian and whatever she said to him it seemed to both make him more upset, as well as calm him. Will blinked a few times, nibbling on his lower lip as if making up his mind, and then sank back into his cross-legged position. He pulled a breath and looked up at Kell.
"Before I left Diamban to join your army my master gave me a gift, a duty and a warning."
Kell licked his dry lip and waited for Will to continue, but it seemed difficult and he once again reached out for Will to encourage him. Once again he shied away.
Will fought back the tears and went on in a strangled voice. "The gift was my dagger and the duty was my pouch of herbs. The warning…" He swallowed. "The warning was to care for the tiger and beware of the raven."
Kell was confused. "I don't understand, Will. I've never been very good at sorcerers' riddles," he murmured a bit apologetically.
Will pulled another, shuddering breath and knotted a hand around the hem of his grey coat. "I've always thought I had already met the tiger and that I was already caring for it. Up until now that part of the warning never worried me, and with all that has happened I hardly remembered the second part, to beware of the raven. But now…" He locked eyes with Kell. "Your seal is the tiger's paw, Kell. You're the tiger my master told me to care for."
Kell blinked, still a bit confused. "And that would be bad why?" He shook his head slowly as if to clear the fog.
"Because it means you and I are bound together by more than just mutual attraction. Because by being close to me your life will be at risk unless I do as I've been warned. Because I cannot stand the thought of you hurt and maybe even dying because I failed to protect you."
Tears fell freely now and Kell could no longer keep away. He stumbled forward and wrapped his arms around Will's trembling body, to hug away the pain and the hurt, and Will let himself be held. He cried quietly against Kell's chest and Kell kissed the dark hair and murmured unintelligible, comforting words against his temple.
Will eventually stopped crying and only small sobs shook his frame from time to time. Kell stroked his hair, not quite knowing how he was supposed to feel about all this. Chances were he didn't even realize what it all meant for him.
"I don't care about the warning your master gave you, Will," he said after a long, quiet moment. "It's just a seal, nothing else, and ravens are just birds. It doesn't mean anything."
He frowned when Will pushed away and looked up at him, his brown eyes damp and red rimmed. He'd been crying a lot, Kell realized.
"But it means something to me, Kell. You said you got your seal the year you turned fifteen. That's the same year I got my guardian." He clenched a hand in Kell's tunic. "My guardian is a tiger spirit, Kell, so don't tell me it doesn't mean anything."
Kell found himself speechless again." Oh…"
"And ravens are the birds of death," Will continued mercilessly.
Kell pulled Will's hand away from his tunic and sat back to stare unseeingly past the sorcerer. "Did you know this when you were summoned to my camp?" he asked wearily, ignoring the suspicious feeling creeping up in his gut. Perhaps the stories about spellbound lovers were true? But Will wouldn't do that, would he? And then again why not. Who wouldn't want him for a lover, gaining power and favors and the throne heir's ear. A spell would explain why he had fallen so head over heels in love with the young sorcerer.
"No," Will shook his head slowly. "I never thought you'd be the one. If I had known I wouldn't have allowed this… intimacy. I need to be able to think clearly if it should come to a magical battle without having to worry if you are hurt or not, because my heart wouldn't be able to stop thinking about you."
Kell swallowed past the growing lump in his throat. "And if you fail to heed the warning, you're telling me I'm going to die?" Gods, that sounded so unreal.
"I don't know. Perhaps, if I fail to care for you," Will said in a flat tone.
Kell pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He wasn't afraid to die. You learned to respect death without fear when you were locked in battle with an enemy like Kell had been so many times since this war had begun. But if Will was right Kell's life was no longer in his own hands, he could no longer fight for it with his own sword. That sudden feeling of helplessness sent a shiver down his spine. He looked up at the sorcerer in defiance.
"I'll be damned if I let superstition keep me from doing what I must. I have duties to my father and the kingdom. If I let every little threat against my life get to me, I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning." He struggled to his feet and realized his legs were a bit unsteady. No! I'm not afraid!
"I told you you wouldn't understand," Will said quietly. "But then again you and I don't see things the same way."
Kell snorted. "No, we don't. I don't believe I cannot fight for myself, Will. If I ever begin to doubt my own abilities, I'll die. Doubt and fear leads to death, and death is not an option."
"I don't doubt your skills either," Will said and rose slowly. "But there are some enemies you are not equipped to fight."
"And that's why you are supposed to watch over me, correct?" Kell crossed his arms over his chest and looked straight at Will. The sorcerer's eyes were deep, dark and half hidden behind long lashes and bangs. He met Kell's gaze without blinking. "So now I have a valid reason to keep you close."
"No one must know about this, my prince. The warning was meant for my ears only, not even you were supposed to know."
"So you'll insist on staying in the keep, then. To keep appearances up."
"Yes."
Kell sighed deeply and shut his eyes; the headache was throbbing persistently behind his eyes and with all that had just happened, he wasn't sure it would ever go away.
Gentle, cool fingertips touched his temples and he let Will's magic flow into him. As always it made him shiver and gasp, and when his lips parted to let a breath out, Will's mouth was there to catch it. Kell slitted his eyelids open to look into brown eyes so very close to his. The tip of Will's tongue slipped out to flutter across Kell's lips as if asking for permission to kiss and Kell let him.
It was a soft kiss, brief and tingling with the magics Will had just used. Then the sorcerer let go of him but remained where he stood, close to Kell.
"Come back to camp with me, Will. We leave at daybreak and I want to be sure you get some decent sleep."
"My tent has already been packed."
"Mine hasn't and it's large enough for the both of us."
Will smiled a little. "I'm not sharing your bed."
Kell couldn't find it in him to return the smile. "You don't have to, as long as I know you're there."
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